It came from within...

Has anyone else read this book by Andy Stanley?  In the book, he suggests that there are 4 conditions that can wreak havoc on one's heart and attitude: guilt, anger, greed and jealousy.  These four "monsters", according to Stanley, can destroy your attitude and relationships if left unchecked.

Each of these "monsters" results in a debt-to-debtor dynamic.  At the beginning of one of his chapters, Stanley breaks down the dynamics of guilt and anger:

Guilt says, "I owe you."  Anger, on the other hand, says, "You owe me."  We get angry when we don't get what we want.  That's a pretty important idea, and one you may not agree with right off the bat, so I'll say it again:  Anger is the result of not getting something we want.  What we want may include what we deserve.  Because, after all, who doesn't want what they think they deserve?

He moves on to the 3rd monster, greed.  Greed says, "I owe me".

Bottom line, the greedy people believe they deserve every good thing that comes their way.  Not only that, but they believe they deserve every good thing that could possibly come their way.  Their mantra is, What's mine is mine because I've earned it--and I've got a lot more coming.  

The last monster--the green-eyed monster, actually--is jealousy.  Jealousy says, "God owes me."

We assume that our problem is with the person who possesses what we lack.  But let's face it.  God could have fixed all of that for us.  Whatever he gave your neighbor, he could have given you too.  And besides, you don't really want your neighbor's car, you want one like it.  You don't mind the fact that God provided him with one.  The problem is that, while passing out new cars, God skipped you!

Without going into all of Stanley's thoughts on the subject(s), he suggests that you fight guilt with confession, anger with forgiveness, greed with giving and jealousy with celebration.  In other words, you are "forgiving" the debt.  Forgiving the person/situation who has "made" you angry, confess the thing that causes you guilt, give when you don't feel like you can (or want to) and celebrate whatever it is you covet from someone else's life.

Now, why did I feel the need to bore you with all of this?  Well, I'm still not entirely sure.  :)  Being unemployed and spending my days applying for jobs, researching jobs, updating my resume, cleaning, doing laundry, running errands......well, it's just me!  Me and my thoughts.  Me and my prayers.  Me and my God.  I have been struggling a lot with one of those monsters--well, all of them in some ways, but one in particular is really eating away at my heart.  The debt is unpaid.  I am OWED!  Except not really.  I know God has a wonderful plan for my life, both short- and long-term, but I am having trouble trusting Him.  And with as much time as I have to myself these days, He's taken to showing me those pesky little things he wants me to work on.  I've been a bit lazy with that lately, but He's really been on my case these past few days.  Guess it's time to buck up and settle the debt.