Those of you who knew me in Asheville know that I spent the better part of 6 years as a part of the music team at Covenant, and a large part of that helping with lead and background vocals. Singing has been a part of my life as long as I can remember. I was chosen for some sort of special kids' choir thing back in 2nd or 3rd grade, and we sang some song about a kite. Haha. I don't remember much about it, but I definitely remember having fun with it.
Though I sang all throughout school, including college, I never really realized how alive I could feel when singing until I started singing at Covenant. Just something about singing to God and with God's help...and helping lead people into worship. It's so much less about me and what I do and so much more about getting out of the way and letting people see God. (Which both takes pressure off, and puts pressure on. But that's for another day. :)) There's also, of course, the privilege of making music with other musicians. When you see me smiling on stage, it does have a lot to do with praising God, but there's also an element of just loving making music.
When we decided we were going to move to Charlotte, I knew that was a part of my life I was going to miss immensely, and that I really wanted to make sure to establish here. The first church we landed at was awesome in so many ways, but we just never felt like we fit in. After about 4 months, I was finally able to audition for the band, and was allowed to sing with them. And I really enjoyed it--they were nice, and VERY talented. I never really felt like a real part of the group, and they weren't huge on using background vocalists. So after about 5 months, we made the decision to start searching for a new church. I was definitely missing being a part of worship.
Our 2nd or 3rd week of searching, we came across the church we're at now. Shallow though it may sound, one of the ways I really knew this was a church we should consider is because on our first week there, they played this song, which Jeremy and I had been singing for a few days non-stop. After a couple weeks, we knew that this church was a strong possibility for us, so I emailed the creative arts pastor to see if they were open to new vocalists, and I got a resounding yes! A few weeks later I was able to audition, and a few weeks after that, I was on stage with them. It has been so much fun meeting new people over the past few months, and creating music again with some incredibly talented folks. This past week, I was given the opportunity to lead a song for the first time since being in Charlotte, and it was awesome. I had more fun than I've had in a long, long time.
I've spent a lot of the last 18 months wondering why. Why did Jeremy have to choose a school in Charlotte, so far away from our friends and church family? Why did we have to lose our babies? Why were we having such a hard time finding a church? Why was I having a hard time finding a place to make music?
It dawned on me as I was singing on Sunday that I think God wanted me to give me a new perspective on, and a new appreciation of, worship. One that I could only have after having gone so long without any meaningful musical participation. One that I could only have after losing my babies. One that I could only have after being thrown into a new city without many friends. I've had to rely on Him more fully in the past 18 months than in any other time of my life that I can remember. And maybe that's the point.
10 weeks.
GREAT!! Finding purpose and reason is so comforting!! PTL!
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